This is my first go at blogging.  We have toyed with the idea ever since Henri and I started our charity New Sight Eye Care 18 months ago.  Subconsciously, I was always waiting for ‘the moment’ when I would actually have something to blog about.  Never could I have imagined that my ‘moment’ would come in the form of a bedridden me in the heart of Congo.  Only one week ago, I went to bed completely well.  Within a few hours, I was awoken by rigors and a raging temperature that refused to relent even with the biggest onslaught of medication.  I suffered from a nasty soft tissue infection which probably found its way through the countless insect bites on my skin.  For four days, I battled with fever, intense pain, vomiting and low blood pressure.  I forgot what the word energy meant.  I could not look after myself, let alone our 3 young children.  I was blessed to be able to stay at home and be nursed by my own Henri, whose tender and patient care never ceased to amaze me.  He tirelessly looked after the patients in the hospital, and the kids and I at home.  Whilst I was thankful for the missionaries who so kindly and willingly helped us look after our kids, I loathed feeling like I was a burden (even though I knew in my head that they didn't think that at all).  I would cry for 90 minutes three times a day as I endured the most excruciating injections.   Some of this was because we did not have the resources to dilute the antibiotics the way we would normally do in resource-rich settings.  Some people told me that I was brave.  The reality was that I was a straight-up chicken.  Nothing had prepared me for this sudden physical weakness.  To think that only a week ago I was mourning the death of our blackberry which was our only access to internet at home!  Things sure get put into their rightful perspective in illness.  More than anything else, I keenly sensed my weakness in character.  Much of the week has become a bit of a blur.  However, I do remember asking poor Henri to stop the injections even though I knew full well as a doctor that that was the only logical way for me to get better.  I remember asking him to take me home, as in our home in England.  I was trying to hold onto the promises of God while I waited.  But I would have given up in a flash if it had not been for this: 

Some would call it a vision, some a dream, maybe some even a hallucination in my septicaemic state.  Whatever it was, I saw it.  As I received the agonising infusion which constantly reminded me of the crucifix (told you I was weak but it must be said that even labour was not as bad as these injections), I saw one by one hundreds of our friends, family, partners in our vision to help the blind see in Congo.  One smiled, another nodded in affirmation.  One squeezed my hand, another gave me the warmest hug.  I saw our dear friends Liza Ong, Marion Winton and Linda Meiklejohn cheering me on from heaven, with cups of Tetley tea in their hands!  I then realised that our pastors Chris and Gosia, and our HopeCityChurch family in the UK were laying hands on me as they lifted me up in prayer.  Suddenly the continents that separated us no longer existed and we were together.  I cannot describe it.  It was as if they were only a foot away from me and I could feel their hands firmly on my shoulders.  I found myself carried by a force that I had never known before.  Suddenly, my strength returned as Samson’s strength returned.  I was ready to fight again. 

I got better, quite a lot better, at a speed that surprised us.  I know that I still have a way to go but I am so thankful.  I appreciate life and health in a way that I have never done before.  I treasure all the more our amazing friends, family and supporters all across the world.  I am sure that this experience has made me a better doctor too.  Above all, this is no longer a theoretical knowledge:  ‘Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great crowd of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.  And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith.’ (Hebrews 12)  I have had the practical.

Thank you for your love and support.  Thank you for your prayers and encouragement.  Thank you for caring to take the time to read this which I hope is what a blog is supposed to be.  Thank you for being the wind beneath my wings, my great crowd of witnesses!

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